Blonde Jokes
A man's blonde wife decided one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes, and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decided to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While he was off at work, she decided she would paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after hubby left for work, she got down to the task at hand. Her husband arrived home at 5:30 and smelled the distinctive odor of paint. He walked into the living room and found his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He noticed that she was wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He went over and asked if she was okay. She replied yes. He asked what she was doing. She replied that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asked her why she had a ski jacket and a fur coat on. She replied that she had read the directions on the paint can and they said, FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.*********** A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly---from out of the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the Blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The Blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped, looked skyward, and said, " Is that you, Lord?" The voice replied, "No, this is the Ice-Rink Manager!"